School Holidays - Are the kids bored???

What does it mean when the kids are bored??  As an adult, I can probably remember what it felt like 'being bored'. 'There's nothing to do' is a bit like 'There's nothing to eat' or 'No one likes me'.

These statements make me remember the story of the 'glass half full'. Is it half full, or half empty? Is there 'nothing to do' or are there heaps of options? Is there 'nothing to eat' or is there lots to eat if one only bends their back & looks lower in the fridge or pantry? And does 'no one like me', or is it more the truth that 'I am liked (have friends)'?

Martin Seligman is a leading researcher on Positive Education.
On his website www.authentichappiness.org he discusses how the world wide prevalence of depression has not only become worse, but the average age of first onset has halved from 30 to 15 years. He connects this with ways of thinking & being - attitudes! Our schooling has prepared us for 'life' - essentially achievement & work. Seligman argues that we need to re-think our education of the young & base it more around a system of Positive Education. In fact he challenges us to teach the skills of both wellbeing AND achievement!


So what are the 'skills of wellbeing'? What is he really referring to? Seligman identifies 24 Signature Strengths:

• Appreciation of beauty and excellence
• Bravery and valour
• Capacity to love and be loved
• Caution, prudence, and discretion
• Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty
• Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
• Curiosity and interest in the world
• Fairness, equity, and justice
• Forgiveness and mercy
• Gratitude
• Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness
• Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness
• Humour and playfulness
• Industry, diligence, and perseverance
• Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
• Kindness and generosity
• Leadership
• Love of Learning
• Modesty and humility
• Perspective (wisdom)
• Self-control and self-regulation
• Social Intelligence
• Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
• Zest, enthusiasm, and energy

Seligman says that these signature strengths need to be incorporated not only into the schooling of our young, but also in our parenting. In essence, teaching our children to have a more positive & curious attitude while recognising wellbeing in themselves. In Australia, we have the advantage of having been a focus of Martin Seligman's studies. For those who are interested, see his report of a project on Positive Education he conducted at Geelong Grammar School in 2008 http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1551.

So what does this have to do with school holiday boredom??? To some extent you might say 'little since it's normal at that age to be bored'. Do you think it's fostering wellbeing in our young to accept a 'bored attitude' with a 'defeatist attitude'? I'm wondering what it is about us as parents that encourages or supports our kids to be bored? And what is our response when they tell us they're bored? Do we run to the rescue to OCCUPY them ('if you're bored I'll give you a job!'), or do we tell them to go & find something to do? Is there another way???

Could there be a way where we could foster our children's sense of curiousity, ingenuity, optimism, creativity & playfulness? We 'teach' maths - why can't we 'teach' not being bored? You might notice that I haven't mentioned computers, TV, electronic games or other obsessions of the current generation. With a smile on my face, I'm acknowledging that this blog doesn't have enough room to include an explosion such as that. LOL

While this blog is just something to get us thinking, I'll share my experience from this morning....

In a phone call to my nephew I asked, 'what are you doing today?'.
His response was ,'nothing!'
I said, 'what's nothing?'
He responded with 'nothing!'

Since mum is at work all day, further questioning revealed that he & his brother were watching a movie on TV but that life was pretty boring! Since getting in the car & going up there to rescue them was going to go down like a lead balloon, I shared my plans for the day. I told him that after I'd finished working I was planning on making dim sims for dinner. He expressed interest in helping me (& eating, naturally!) & said he might come down to my house later. I told him that he was welcome to come anytime & even stay over if he liked. He agreed that he'd come down later, cook dim sims & 'would't mind' sleeping over. My response was, 'well, just give me a call before you start walking here OK?'

Who knows?  We might even get a fishing trip organised???

What's important to me is that I fostered some curiosity. With that curiosity followed a solution to boredom. And like ripples in a pond, who knows where that curiosity will lead, & which other brother it might rub off on!


Suggested Reading

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1551

http://www.authentichappiness.org

http://ellamentarycounsellingpiano.blogspot.com/

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Toronto-Australia/Ellamentary-Counselling-Piano/113114688770329

Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness & Well-Being - find this book at http://www.amazon.com/Flourish-Visionary-Understanding-Happiness-Well-being/dp/1439190755/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1301931511&sr=8-1

http://www.googobits.com/articles/p5-2372-get-happy-with-positive-psychology.html

Murray, B. & Fortinberry, A. (2006) Raising an Optimistic Child: A Proven Plan for Depression-Proofing Young Children - for Life McGraw Hill/New York

Seligman, M.E.P., Ernst, R.M., Gillham, J., Reivich, K., & Linkins, M. (2009). Positive education: Positive psychology and classroom interventions. Oxford Review of Education (35) 3, 293-311.